TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize