I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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