You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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