I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
so much tequila, so little girl.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
