so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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