Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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