State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
