You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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