Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The struggles of a small town man whore
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
