Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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