i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
