wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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