is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We were destined to go to rehab together
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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