i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
