franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
