She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Go christen that room with your naked body.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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