Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
