he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sober January is a disaster.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
