Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
