why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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