Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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