Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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