we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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