he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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