everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
