I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
