ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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