Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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