I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
