i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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