He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
