her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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