Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We need a shit load of segways right now
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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