just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Randomize
