Got a toothbrush?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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