i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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