They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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