I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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