i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
