Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
