How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
