wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
