Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
