meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
