Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize