For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize