hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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