I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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