My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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