well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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