You're so nebulous sometimes
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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