i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Randomize
