You made me cry and you don't even care
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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