real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
