She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
