Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
