I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
