So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
