I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i drank out of a bidet.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
