Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
