You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
id be glad to
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
